The age of internet dating makes it easier than ever before to get a date ; but you can end up going on a lot of first dates. Believe it or not this can start to feel quite tiresome – although not necessarily a problem to complain about!
First dates often end up being a ‘coffee date’ and it can start to feel surprisingly hard to drag yourself to yet another coffee date!
So how do you have a great 1st date in the age of internet dating, especially when you have spent some time chatting online? Firstly I recommend that you talk to the person on the phone before you meet them for a date. Why? Because how someone sounds and how they conduct a conversation is very important. It can be easy to use carefully constructed emails to communicate whereas you don’t have this luxury when talking on the telephone. This will save you going on a date with someone who you couldn’t talk to and may have been a waste of time.
When you plan a first date you don’t want to be like most people – you want to be the person! Girls especially love a guy to plan a date, rather than be asked what they would like to do. Everyone loves something different and memorable. So don’t be the standard person who goes with dinner or even coffee. I know this advice can be a little tricky as you haven’t ever met the person and don’t know if you would like a quick escape. But I believe everyone you meet is interesting and even if they are not someone you ultimately want to date, you can still enjoy the experience!
- Do something different – Do something fun. Research has shown choosing exciting activities/places increases the chances of attraction developing. So all the more reason to be original and creative! No more boring first dates. Doing something active takes the pressure off you to talk, while still giving you plenty of opportunity to get to know each other. Doing something active will also help you avoid getting into deep subjects too quickly. Doing something different will also make you stand out in your dates eyes. Whatever you chose, you need to keep in mind that no two people are the same and won’t like the same type of things. Look at the type of person they are before choosing what to do. For example someone who hates heights would not like going bungy jumping. My favourite first dates were – a motorbike ride and a glass of wine on the beach watching a sunset.
- Find out what excites the person and what they are passionate about; but make sure you are also willing to share what you are passionate about. The energy of your date will change dramatically and it gives you a chance to know the positive side of the person. You will walk away knowing the person better and even if they weren’t for you, you will still have a positive conversation.
- Stop talking and listen. Take the time to listen and not just talk. Don’t spend the time the person is talking thinking about what you are going to say next – actively listen. But on the flipside don’t just listen make sure you contribute to the conversation – talking and listening has to be give and take.
- Don’t interview your date – no-one wants a date to feel like an interview. The best dates are the ones that are fun and enjoyable. Remember people always leave a date remembering how they felt, we all want to be with someone who makes us feel good. So keep this in mind on your date.
As always, happy dating.