Orbiting, Zombie-ing, Breadcrumbing and other dating terms you need to know…….
Nowadays there are more ways than ever to meet singles; however love is harder to find. Online dating/apps have made meeting easier, yet they’ve brought new issues including a dating language all of its own!
There is a ‘term’ to describe all sorts of behaviour. Some are not that new and have been around forever. However, there is a whole new way of acting in the online digital age/space. The convenience of dating apps has given people more ways to behave badly and they all come with a name.
To help you understand the dating world I will explain the 12 most common dating terms.
12 Common Dating Terms:
When someone disappears to avoid the awkward break up conversation. They simply stop texting, calling and can block the person on social media. This is not new but technology has made it easier. Ghosting people who aren’t part of your daily life is easy when you don’t see the effects. It is all too common with 80% of singles claiming it has happened to them.
A reappearing ghost. They may act like nothing has happened and continue where they left off. This is easy with social media, all they need to do is like a few posts and send the standard ‘Hey you’ message! The visual of a zombie should be enough to put you off going there!
Happens when you are not ‘into’ someone enough to commit, but want to keep them on the sidelines as an option. Think of a football game where a player is put on the bench while another person is in play, ready to be subbed back in. It is too easy to do – send a snap chat, a funny text, a phone call or even meet up occasionally. They will do the minimum to keep the person around and the person will think well, they wouldn’t do that if they weren’t into me.
A breadcrumber gives somebody just enough attention to keep them around and keep the hope of a relationship alive. They have a special skill of knowing when you are ready to move on and leave you a trail of breadcrumbs (flirty messages) so you don’t forget about them! Think Hansel and Gretel!
This is when you are in a relationship and you have a few people you are flirting and chatting to. There are many ways to do this with Facebook, Instagram, and Snap Chat. The aim is to cushion the effects of a possible break-up so you won’t be alone!
Nobody wants to be catfished and it is the worst of the dating terms! It is when someone pretends to be someone they are not on online dating or social media with the intent to scam. They use fake profiles, pictures, names and even gender. They create a story with the intention of getting money. In 2018 Scam Watch has received 1267 reports of online dating scams totalling 7.5 million dollars. If something looks too good to be true it generally is!
Making yourself look better online. This could be using old photos where you looked better; lying about your age, weight, height, and job. The intention is not sinister but to get a date. However, this never works as when you meet the person, they feel like they have been lied to and it is a large reason people do not get a second date.
This happens after you have been ghosted. They don’t talk to you but still follow you on social media. They keep you in their orbit, close enough to be seen but far enough away that they don’t have to talk to you. An orbiter is a ghost you can see! They ignore your text messages and phone calls but still watch you on Instagram and like your posts. It keeps communication open in a small way in case they change their mind!
9. Netflix and Chill
If someone asks you to do this it’s not about watching TV but about hooking up and sex.
10. Slow Fade
A slow fade Is a lot like ghosting. You have been dating someone for a while and it’s going really well, in fact, it looks like you are going to the next step. But at that point they start to back away slowly because it is all going to fast or they are not as into as they had thought. Instead of saying “Hey, this is moving too fast. Can we slow things down?” the slow fader takes the chicken’s way out. They become less available, will send half hearted messages though social media or texts and then stop seeing them altogether.
11. BDE – BDE (big dick energy)
You don’t need to have a big penis or even have one it is about the energy you give off. BDE is confidence without cockiness, it is something you have, Urban Dictionary describes it as the sexual equivalent of writing a check for $10K knowing you got it in the bank account. Big dick energy – you know it when you see it. Not just physically. It’s an attitude. A swagger. A vibe. Does not pander or care. In general having a large penis size is linked to confidence for men and confidence is the key to success in dating.
Of all the dating terms this one is the healthiest. It that doesn’t involve ignoring people or cheating. Grande-ing comes from Ariane Grande’s hit Thank U where she thanks her past partners for how helping her learn and grow. Ariana said one taught her love, one taught her patience, and one taught her pain. Grande-ing is about learning the lesson the person taught you and growing from it. Every relationship can teach you something and be a way to grow and become the best version of yourself.
There are so many dating terms nowadays and most are about bad behaviour. So what is the answer? It is to is to treat people with respect, to treat people how you would like to be treated or better still how ‘they’ would like to be treated. Remember a person’s actions will speak louder than their words.
If you are finding dating in the modern world confusing don’t forget Dare2Date can help you. Simply email Debbie@Dare2Date.com.au