Why Take it Slow

By August 20, 2013 January 14th, 2016 Advice for Women, Blog
take it slow

You have met an amazing guy and he wants to see you all the time. Nothing has felt like this before!!!

My advice to you would be to PUT THE BRAKES ON and take things slowly!

I can hear you all arguing with me that this feels right and why play games and slow things down? Well here is why you should take things slow:

1. You need time to get to know him and work out if he is for you. When you see someone five nights a week you end up telling each other every detail in a short time without having the time to process the information. It all blurs and it is easy to be caught up in the feelings and emotions of the attraction. Taking it slowly allows you to see things more clearly!

2. Guys will always want to speed things up and it is your job to slow them down. I have found that women want to tell a guy who they are, warts and all, to see if the guy will accept them (my advice on this is let someone like you before you share too much). Whereas, a guy will really only show you who he is after 2-3months – which is smart because by then we really like them and are more likely to overlook their faults/flaws. The amount of times I have dated guys who drop a bombshell at this point is unbelievable. For example a guy may make out he is very successful but after 3 months you find out he owes money to everyone and isn’t quite what he seems.

3. Guys can be stalkers and even bunny boilers too. Too much from a guy too soon can be a sign of instability. These types of guys can end up being controlling or jealous.

4. Remember if a guy wins a prize too easily he is no longer interested in it. It is a primal instinct in a guy to chase and the longer it takes to win the more value it holds. If I were to compare this to a football game – no team would want to win a game without any challenge or opposition from the other team. It really does benefit both parties to slow things down.

5. It weeds out the guys who didn’t really want a relationship in the first place. This will save you wasted time and unnecessary heartache.

6. You only get the thrill of dating/courtship once. Take your time to actually enjoy the experience – with all the feeling and emotions it brings. This could be part of a story you tell of ‘How I Met Your Father’ for years to come.

7. Men also need a little bit of space to know they like you. They need the space to realise they miss you and you don’t give them this opportunity if you are seeing them all the time. When things go to fast (even though the guy wants this) they guy can tend to get overwhelmed and scared. They are also guilty of getting caught up in the moment of the emotions and need to really know it is what they want.
Now this is not game playing it is just being smart. By taking things slowly it prevents the crash and burn of going too fast. Remember to never drop everything just because the guy wants you to. He really will appreciate your time and who you are when you take things slowly.

Happy Dating!!

By Debbie Rivers

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