Time to chill out and making dating more fun and successful.
Here ae 19 tips:
1. Get rid of Expectations!
‘Expectations are the root of all heartache’ Unknown – not Shakespeare
What you need is the perfect mix of anticipation, keeping focused on what you want, with the ability to let it go. You need to have the anticipation, without getting caught up in negative and impatient thoughts about why love isn’t here now. This might sound like a contradiction but it isn’t. If you are holding on too tight it will take all the joy and fun out of the experience and this will come across. When you are full of joy and happy, your confidence increases and you are instantly more attractive. Be aware of letting your hopes get out of control before you’ve even met someone. Rather be in the moment and enjoy time with another person for exactly what it is, everyone has something good about them. Go to a date with the intention to be open and enjoy the process, whatever’s meant to happen will happen.
2. Have fun
Make up your mind to relax and have fun no matter what. This will totally change your dating experience and how you come across to the person in front of you. Everyone likes to hang out with people who have a relaxed fun vibe – the energy is different to hanging out with someone who comes from a judgemental place.
3. Ditch the Interview
You may want to say you want to save time and cut to the chase but it has the opposite effect. Firing off questions does not create a fun date or a genuine connection with the person. Conversation that flows normally works best. Also too much information too quickly can cause false judgements and assumptions that would not matter over time. And let’s face it a little mystery is great.
4. Don’t get Hung up on the Myth that you are running out of time
Remember dating when you were young it was just fun you didn’t put pressure/expectations on whether this person would be ‘the one’. When you think you are running out of time you are likely to give off a desperate vibe and no-one likes a desperate single. I can tell you from running Dare2Date that there is someone for everyone at each age, it is never too late to find what you are looking for.
5. Stop thinking the next one will be the one!
Again this will put too much pressure on dating. When you come from this space you can literally be looking for what is wrong in the person rather than what is right. Relax, have fun and let things flow naturally without judgement or forcing things.
6. Be in the moment
Enjoy the person who is in front of you and be present. Slow down and let things happen, there is no rush. In fact when you think there is a rush you are more likely to get it wrong.
7. Would you Date Yourself?
It is all too easy to have a long list of what you want and high standards. Do you hold yourself to the same standards? In fact would you want to date yourself? My advice is be the type of person that you want to be with.
8. See Each Date as a Chance for Meeting New People
Start to look at meeting new people as fun ( I know it may be a stretch for some). However, it really can improve your conversation skills. Everyone is different and has something unique, so enjoy the experience. Keep it light. When you change the way you look at dating, your dating experience will change. The worst that can happen is you will have a great story to tell!
9. Treat it as Learning Experience
Go on each date with the intention of learning something about yourself. When you focus on growth, there is no such thing as a bad date. Let each date/experience make you an even better person.
10.Don’t take Dating Personally
Take the personal out of it. You may date people who don’t want to see you again but for the most part it isn’t personal. Think of how many people you meet in life and then look at how many you are attracted to and could imagine being with? There are not that many. People can be awesome, you can enjoy their company but doesn’t mean you would spend your life with them. When you look at it that way, it is much easier to know it isn’t personal.
11.Ditch the Judgemental
Online dating has made it easy for you to access singles and made it possible for you to meet singles you wouldn’t cross paths with. However, research shows that it makes us more judgmental and causes us to easily write people off. Remember photos are one dimensional and don’t’ paint a lot of people in the best light. Also when you meet someone they may be nervous and not show themselves in the best light. Instead of being judgmental try being curious. Also be aware how much it hurts when people easily dismiss you!
12.Practice Run
Dating is not a skill you are born with, some people are better at it than others. This date may or may not work but regardless you can use it as a learning experience. Learn from your dates about what works and what doesn’t work.
13.Stop over-analysing!
Be in the moment and don’t analyse everything they say and do. Over-analysing lead’s to assumptions and misunderstandings. This goes for after the date as well, if it’s meant to be it will be – so let things happen naturally.
14.Always Trust your Gut Feeling (Intuition)
If something feels right it generally is and if something doesn’t feel right it generally isn’t right. Trust your gut feeling when dating. For any relationship that hasn’t worked you have generally known at a gut instinct level. So it is time to trust your feelings.
15.Say What you Mean
If you want a second date say so and it you don’t say no. Don’t let guilt guide you on a date you don’t want to go on. Although always be open to possibility. Men are visual whereas women fall in love with their ears – so maybe if they are not a definite no, give them a second or maximum of a third date.
16.Be You!
Time to stop twisting yourself out of shape to be what someone else wants! Be yourself (the best version), be in the moment, have fun and you will shine!
17.Enjoy Life
It is time to spend less energy worrying about meeting the one and enjoy life in the moment. Do what you love NOW! Don’t wait to meet someone to do all the things you have ever wanted to. When you are happy you bring a different energy to dating and will be irresistible to the opposite sex. It creates breathing room and space for the right person.
18.Stop Comparing
Time to get over your ex and stop comparing everyone to them and give the person in front of you a chance. Let’s face it there was a reason it didn’t work with your ex!
19.Trust
If you are out dating, working on your stuff and being the best version of you then what is for you will happen. Trust that you will not miss what is for you. Relax; regardless of what age you are there is no need to rush. When it’s time the right relationship will happen.
Debbie xxoxx
