If you want to get results online these are 3 startling examples of online dating messages that get results.
Believe it or not, the messages you use online make all the difference! Both men and women are guilty of sending messages that don’t get them the responses they deserve. Don’t rely on the other person to be good at messaging, take the initiative yourself. Many singles aren’t great daters, yet would make the perfect partner for you. In the online world, you only get one chance to make a first impression and that comes from your photographs, your profile, and the messages you send. Make the most of that chance!
Messages that Get Results
You don’t want to be most people – you want results!
If you want to send messages that get results then your messages need to be different. When you send your messages, they need to be creative, fun, and interesting. You are much more likely to get a response with these types of messages. The key to success after you have a match is sending messages that work.
This works because when you make something fun to think about, you create an emotional connection rather than something that is transactional.
Too many people look at online dating like it is transactional. Online dating is not the same as buying a product on Amazon!
Messages like ‘Hi’, ‘How are you?’, ‘Hey’, ‘Hi, my name is Matt, how are you?’ don’t get a response. These messages aren’t fun! It is essential to realise that the attractive single has an inbox full of those messages and they don’t have the time or interest to respond to them.
When you send messages like these you are making the other person do the work of coming up with a conversation. They will view this as a burden they don’t want! And remember that the hotter the person is the more options they have!
You only get that one chance online!
When you have a match, you want to make sure they answer you and timing is everything! You want to send your messages at a time where the other person has the time and motivation to answer your message.
You don’t want to send messages early in the morning, too late at night, or in the middle of their busy day.
Messaging in the evenings on a weekday is the best option to get a response. People are more likely to be relaxing and opening up their apps. Research backs this up with dating apps reporting more use at this time.
3 Examples of Messaging that Get Results
Singles get stuck on interview questions that don’t go anywhere. What you want to do is have a real conversation that you both enjoy.
Messages that get Results – Example 1
Hi Sarah, how’s your Monday? Did you struggle to deal with routine! I know I did, even though I have a cool job! What’s on the top of your list so you can chill tonight? Exercise, Netflix, or a sneaky wine?
In this message, you haven’t put the burden of the conversation on Sarah. You have given a little bit about yourself and given her something fun to answer. Everyone likes multiple choice!
Sarah –I also struggled and as much as I love what I do, I am not a fan of Mondays. My heart told me happy hour but decided on a quick walk and planning on binge-watching to chill out tonight. What about you. what’s your top pick?
Mike- Yes, mine told me the same thing but I decided that I would choose the semi-healthy option and get in some quality binge-watching myself! What are you binging on just now?
Sarah – I started watching the Serpent on Sunday evening and omg I feel like I can’t stop watching it. Have you seen it? It’s based on a true story in the ’70s about travelers in Asia being murdered! I love to travel and couldn’t believe what can and does happen. What are you watching?
Let’s look at Why This Conversation Works
Can you see how the conversation is building and is not an interview-based conversation? Mike has so many things he can talk about from here. Of course, if Sarah had chosen a sneaky wine or exercise the conversation could have gone in a totally different direction and Mike would need to answer accordingly.
Mike – I can’t believe we are watching the same show, where are you up to? I got hooked on it when I started watching it last night, already at episode 3. I love traveling and have been to some of the places where the murders happened and could see myself in one of those parties! Scary really! Makes me grateful nothing really bad has ever happened in my adventures. Have you been to any of those places?
Hi Mark, did you know that research has found intelligent men prefer savory over sweet foods! Do you agree and what would you choose?
A. jam donut?
B. Caramel Cheesecake?
C. I can’t believe, chocolate isn’t an option! Who leaves that out?
D. You are savoury all the way!
Hi Kelly, tough call, I would choose A, B, C and add in more for E! What do you think the research would say about that? Which would you choose and does it have the same meaning for determining intelligence in women?
Kelly –In my mind balance is the ultimate sign of intelligence. Who wants to choose right! Personally, I enjoy food and I am a sucker for a jam donut but can’t go past salt and vinegar chips either! Lol, do men really want intelligence in a woman! Sorry, I couldn’t resist!
Mark – Intelligence is one of the things I love in a woman. I enjoy having conversations with depth, humour, good-natured banter, and of course the occasional healthy debate. Oh, and the other thing I enjoy is a woman who enjoys her food. Eating, laughing and intelligent conversations are some of the simple pleasures of life, don’t you think? You have intelligence, a sense of humour, and love to eat. I feel like I have hit the jackpot. What about you, do you look for intelligence?
Notice What the Compliment was About
Mark did not tell Kelly she was beautiful or ask why someone like her could be single. He mentioned how much he liked intelligence, a sense of humour, and how she enjoyed food. Kelly showed her humour in her first message and intelligence in her responses.
It is important to show not tell!
Kelly – 10 out of 10 for the perfect answer! Yes, meeting someone I can really talk to is important to me, as well as being able to laugh. Life is much too short to not enjoy every moment, don’t you think? It’s nice to ‘virtually’ meet you on a Tuesday night! I am enjoying chatting with you, it’s so nice to have a good conversation on here. What’s on your list of ways to enjoy your week?
Mark – Yes, the older you get the more you realise how short life can be and it is about enjoying the moments. It is refreshing to have a real conversation and I am enjoying it as well. All too often it feels like a job interview rather than talking to a real person. To enjoy my week, I focus on the simple pleasures – a walk, listening to music, cooking, great conversations, a little bit of TV, and catching up with mates for dinner on Thursday. What about you?
Let’s Look at How to Continue the Conversation the Next Day
Mark and Kelly are having a great conversation so I want you to imagine it continued until they said goodnight. How could Mark make sure he and continue the conversation the next night? Here is an example of how he could do that. Note he is not showing impatience or being too keen by sending a message the next night when he already knew she would be having a quiet night.
Mark – Happy Tuesday, did succumb to the temptation of a jam donut or salt and vinegar chips? After our chat last night, I kept thinking how much I needed both! Like you said, t’s all about balance, right? I had a busy day where I felt like I achieved absolutely nothing. It was a day full of meetings, even meetings about meetings! How was your day?
This is an example of a mixed conversation, there is banter, teasing and serious conversation. The next day, Mark remembered what they had talked about, talked about his day, and asked her about hers. After her response, he could say he is enjoying their conversations and would like to see if they get on as well by meeting or a phone call.
Neither person asked those interview-type questions as there is plenty of time to get to know each other when they meet.
You want to build a real emotional connection between you both, so they want to meet you. You do not need to spend weeks doing this
Look at their profile to see what you both like so you can focus on that in your first message. When you know the other person is interested and talk about it you are much more likely to get a response.
Jono- Seems like we both enjoy travel and adventure. Curious, if you won an all-expenses trip, where would you go?
Ally – Great question, so many choices. You may be surprised to know that I am your off-the-beaten-track, adventurous type of traveler. So many cool places in Europe or America that I am dreaming of. What about you?
You will find more examples of messaging that works in How to Write the Perfect Icebreaker.
Why these are Messages That Get Results
They work because they are different from what everyone else is sending. Remember the person you are interested in is likely to be getting messages from other people so it is important to make sure your messages stand out for the right reasons. These messages are real conversations rather than fact-finding messages or saying tell me about yourself!
You want to make it as easy as possible for the other person to answer you. That is why the right type of question will work, as well as making sure you don’t put the burden of the conversation on the other person. It is important to give a little bit of yourself.
In real life, you may get the opportunity to build on the ‘Hi, I am Mark’, online you don’t! If you are struggling to get results online, why not look are at letting us help you? We will work with your profile, your photographs, and your messaging. As well as other challenges you may be experiencing.