Better Matches Online & IRL
Want to know how to get better matches online and irl? If you answered yes, I have 3 underestimated things that you can add to your profile to get better matches!
On dating platforms, your dating profile creates your first impression. This means the photos you use and your written profile matter!.
You might think that what you write doesn’t matter, but it does! Especially if you want to get better matches! The reality is that people, particularly women, think if you haven’t made any effort to write a profile you aren’t serious. Singles frequently tell me they swipe left (for those new to dating that is one the equivalent of saying no) on profiles that have no info.
Your profile needs to appeal to the type of person you want to meet. I know a common mistake that singles fall into is writing a profile that would appeal to them. That doesn’t work because other people’s reaction to your profile comes from what they are looking for.
Other people will see your profile through the lens of their own personal dating history and the type of person that they are looking to be with.
For example, in your profile, you may say that you are an outgoing person who enjoys meeting new people, having new experiences and that you LOVE to dance.
One person may see that and say that is exactly the type of person they want to be with as they like the idea of those experiences. Whereas, someone who has had a string of relationships where they have been cheated on could be put off by that. Because they see someone who is so outgoing as more likely to cheat and they just can’t go through that again!
You want to appeal to the person who likes the idea of those experiences rather than the one who will get jealous/insecure.
In your profile you need to show who you are so you get the attention of the person who likes that. You know who likes you for YOU! When you do that you get better matches.
Dating is vulnerable! You are putting yourself out there with the possibility of rejection. However, that rejection isn’t personal it is just people looking for someone who is a good fit for them.
When you make your profile real and genuine you have the best chance of getting better matches and of being successful.
3 Underestimated Things to Add to Your Profile for Better Matches
1. Having a Strong Opinion will get Better Matches
Most dating profiles are similar and get overlooked. They are same-same and boring. Strong opinions will stand out and also be good conversation starters. You want to focus on the type of strong opinions that will appeal to someone who matches you, rather than everyone. Think about what you strongly believe in and use that.
- I don’t believe you need a degree to be successful! Some of the smartest, most successful people I know never went to uni!
- I get along best with night owls. I’m talking about staying up late and even the occasional sunrise! If you are an early bird flip that around.
- If loving this is wrong, I don’t care to be right! Winter is by far the best time of year! You can change this to so many different things.
- We’re the same type of strange if you can’t stand…..being a couch potato. It could be anything binge watching Netflix, drinking coffee, eating cheese, etc!
- We’re the same type of weird if you love Brussel sprouts but can’t do avo!
- We’ll get along well if you are cool with banana on pizza! You can change this to anything, if I was to use this line I would include anchovies because I love them.
Word of Warning: This isn’t the time or place to have a political debate even if you have strong political views. You are better off talking about that in person when you have developed more of a connection/rapport.
2. Deep Beliefs & Boundaries
Too many singles are worried about including anything that might ‘put people off. However, if there is something that is essential for a partner to have don’t be afraid to bring that up. It might mean you get fewer matches but it will save you from going out with someone who is incompatible with you.
This is definitely true when it comes to religious beliefs or both of you wanting to have children. I recently watched love is blind. There was a couple who connected well and got engaged. However, one was an atheist and the other one a Christian, the difference in values/belief systems led to their break-up.
If you are a Christian and want to date someone of the same faith you could say:
I enjoy going to church on Sundays and looking for someone who is open to coming with me.
If you are excited about having children one day, we’ll be the perfect match. Or
We’ll get on well if you know that children aren’t for you and you are excited to be an uncle.
When you have a strong belief you don’t have to be negative. Because that is always off-putting. Instead, you can flip the negative around. Using prompts like, “Let’s get on the same page about…….
Maybe you aren’t a dog person and prefer cats, so instead of saying no dog lovers, you can flip that to:
Let’s get on the same page about our love of cats, they really are so much better than dogs, right?
It is common to say – ‘no friends with benefits or hook-ups’ but flip that to say:
‘Looking for the real thing/real- deal relationship’.
You are being clear without being negative or argumentative.
3. Be Your Silly Self to Get Better Matches
Show your fun, silly side because people like to be with someone who can make them laugh. Remember that many profiles are the same and don’t show any personality, let your personality shine. You can do that in your written profile or through your photographs. After all, a picture paints more than one thousand words!
You can use random lines in your profile like:
- I am a die-hard chip connoisseur!
- Love watching Bargain Hunt. Looking for someone who wants to do our own version irl. Are you up for it? Although, a word of warning, I’m really competitive!
- I wear socks that match, well most of the time anyway!
Use photos that show your personality so that the right person can see who you are.
Word of Warning: This can be tricky to get right because sometimes you aren’t aware of the impression that certain pictures are creating. I recommend you get someone of the opposite sex to give you an honest opinion or get a profile review by a Dating/Relationship Coach (I can do that for you).
Better Matches in Real Life (IRL)
Being your real, authentic self in real life will always get you better matches. Having strong opinions, sharing your deep beliefs and showing your funny, quirky self will attract someone who likes that.
Your profile should be perfectly you. When it is, it gives you the chance to match with someone who is the right fit for you. it will give you better matches as well as save you time. It gets rid of the people who aren’t right for you without having to go on 2 or 3 dates to find that out.
Yep, you may have fewer matches but you may find that you start hearing from different types of people who are so much better suited to YOU. That honestly and vulnerability will pay off.
For more ideas on what to write in a profile read 12 Hacks for a Winning Online Profile.
If this still all seems too hard, I can help! I will write you a winning profile, all you need to do is send me an email.