It is a strange thing to find yourself single over 40! When you were young and single it was so much easier to look amazing! Now, if you have come out of a long term relationship you might not be used to worrying about or thinking too much how you look.
But guess what, how you look matters! Men are visual and will initially judge you on how you look. Men fall in love with their eyes, whereas women fall in love with their ears. You may say they can take you as you are, but I need to tell you if you want to be successful in the dating world you will have to present the best version of yourself. Now I apologise in advance for being brutally honest – but this article comes from feedback about what men are looking for and if it is a man you want to meet then this may be useful!
A few simple changes can make the world of difference – ultimately leaving you feeling amazing, confident and beautiful.
- Comfort
Women and men can both get stuck in a time zone where they felt they looked great. They stay stuck there, as it worked once and so it makes them feel good. Most people feel comfortable in a tracksuit, but would know not to wear one to a job interview! Dating is like this – if you turned up in a tracksuit, you may feel comfortable but would be instantly judged and it would be unlikely you would get a second date.I want to tell you a story her about my mum. My mum has had a similar hairstyle since she was 18 – short and permed. A couple of years ago she had breast cancer and lost her hair. It grew back and she left it short, straight and white. It looked STUNNING! Everyone complimented her and couldn’t get over how beautiful she looked. I loved her new look but guess what she didn’t. In her mind curly = beautiful; no matter how many compliments she received. So as soon as she could she went back to her old hair style. Why? Because it was where she felt comfortable! What tends to happen is your brain tells you that the change is terrible and then you quickly go back to your old look and your comfort zone. Comfort is the enemy of presenting your best look. Comfortable doesn’t = your best look. Get someone who can be honest with you – grown up children or some friends are great at this. These people are not emotionally invested in how you look, like you are, and are able to be objective. - Clothes
Ladies get a great bra – it will make an enormous difference to how your clothes look. Go and get professionally fitted as your size changes. It is a fact that 85% of women wear an ill fitting or incorrect size bra. Men love a woman with curves – so make sure you accentuate yours!Clothes matter and it is a good idea to go through your wardrobe and get rid of the old and dated clothing. Get rid of the clothes that don’t fit properly, are not flattering, are worn or just don’t make you feel your best. Great clothes will make you feel like a million dollars and give you the confidence that will ultimately make you more attractive.Don’t use your age as an excuse to look dowdy. I know so many women who worry about dressing ‘age appropriate’ that they end up taking it to the other extreme and dressing too old for their age. There are beautiful flattering clothes for all ages – so find what suits you. - Hair
Hairstyle is another area women get stuck in a rut. How long since you have updated your hairstyle? If it has been a while, then it is time for a new you. Go to a new hairdresser and get a colour/style that suits you now. Go to a new hairdresser as the old one is likely to give you a different version of the same thing. You know same/same but different! This is an area that is worth spending money on. So many surveys support this fact -a Match.com survey of 5000 men found the 3 most important things to men about a women’s looks were: teeth, hair and clothes (all things that can be easily changed).Ladies avoid always tying your hair back or putting it in a bun. Men love hair and don’t get the chance to appreciate it, if it is always tied back. If your hair is so long that all you do is wear it up, it is time to get it cut. Oh but don’t fall into the tap of thinking that you have to have short hair because you are over 40. A feminie look is something guys love and most guys do not like super short hair. - Make-up
Don’t be stuck wearing the make up that looked great when you were in your 20’s. Age changes the type of make up that looks good on you. Men don’t like women wearing heavy make up, but they do love a woman who subtlety applies make up that plays up her best features. So it is a great idea to learn how to apply make up that suits you. Try going to somewhere, like the makeup counters at Myers, where they have makeup artists who can teach you how to properly apply your makeup. - Teeth
Regularly visit the dentist and keep your teeth looking the best. It is the top thing that influences a guy. In the Dare2Date Survey of Perth singles – 74% said that bad teeth were a deal breaker.
Now I haven’t mentioned weight in my 5 tips; even thought it is important to take care of yourself. I am often surprised at overweight singles who still manage to specify that they want to meet someone who is fit and not overweight. If you want someone to accept you as you are, the same applies in reverse.
People can be obsessed with weight and looks; but have you ever noticed how a happy/friendly person is instantly more attractive? The other day I was at two meetings with a male friend and we met two women. The first was slightly overweight, but had a friendly bubbly personality. The second woman had a great body, but a sour and unfriendly manner. My male friend commented how he would love to take the first woman out as he found her really attractive. The first woman’s friendly/bubbly personality made her so much more attractive to my friend. Weight was not a factor. Attitude makes the world of difference and I do see this all the time at speed dating. Men love friendly approachable woman and instantly perceive them as being more attractive. So there are simple things that will improve the way you look and increase your dating success.
Happy dating x
