Men and women tell all in the 9th annual Match.com report! Here is what 5000+ Singles thought in the 2019 study.
The study covers everything from sex, commitment, dating burnout out, what singles think about the affects #metoo movement on dating to when singles say I love you.
Each year Match.com conducts this annual study called Singles In America. It may be an American study; however, we live in a global community and most of the results are relatable and apply to how singles think worldwide.
Here are the Results of the 2019 Study
The good news is that modern love, sex and romance are alive and well for all age groups. You may be surprised to know that 75% of singles are hopeful that love is out there, and nearly 60% are motivated to find romantic love and a long-term companion, with only 9% of singles are looking to date casually.
“Modern love, sex and romance are thriving in America—from Millennials to seniors. The current fear that the young don’t care about love and commitment is just plain wrong. They are simply having a hard time finding it and feeling burnt out by the search,” says Dr. Helen Fisher, biological anthropologist and Chief Science Advisor to Match.
The study found all age groups are suffering from burnout caused by online dating. With 83% feeling that love is hard to find and with 43% believing technology has made finding love harder.
The Study Shows The Fairy Tale Lives On With
- 57% believing in love at first sight
- 73% of the singles believe that love takes time
- 64% love can last forever
- 53% when they meet the right person they will know
Singles Motivated to Find a Caring Relationship
- 69% a partner to do things with
- 60% a long-term companion
- 57% want romantic love
- 43% looking for a sex partner
The negative:
- 42% believe love feels lost
Online Dating
50% of all singles have created a dating profile and what was interesting was how important singles find those profiles!
Don’t underestimate the value of a well written profile! The study found that 57% men and 61% women carefully read the profile rather than just looking at the pictures.
Study shows Where Singles Last Date Came From
| 26% Online | 16% Friends | 9% Work |
| 6% Bar | 6% School |
2% Church |
Only 9% want to date casually vs 66% who are open to a new relationship maybe it’s time to say goodbye to Netflix and Chill!
Singles Still Deal with Bad Behaviour
35% have been ghosted; 34% have received a generic ‘Hi’ message without any follow up; 32% have had someone trying to initiate a booty call and 26% believed a relationship was exclusive when it wasn’t!
Singles Want Transparency in Dating: DTR – defining the relationship is important to singles. Especially for younger singles; they are twice as likely to stop dating someone who doesn’t want to define a relationship vs. singles in other age groups (33% vs. 16%).
Average dates to you have the DTR talk– is after 4 months. This shows the importance of being clear when you meet but still waiting a reasonable amount of time before having the “Where is the relationship going” talk. It allows time for things to happen naturally.
36% of singles avoided the DTR conversation and 36% had the DTR conversation avoided!
The results of the Study found that Men are the Feminists – Women want traditional!
It seems that when it comes to dating that women are more traditional and men are the feminists!
- 75% of men are cool with women saying ‘hi’ first on an app yet only 19% of women do take the lead.
- 90% of men happy to have a woman ask for their number and only 14% will do.
- 67% men are fine with women offering to split the bill on a 1st date, only 24% of women regularly offer to pay.
- 90% of men support a woman making the first move but only 15% do.
- Only 4% of straight women want to say I love you first.
So, when it comes to splitting the bill – Only 24% of women regularly offer to split the bill. Whereas, 67% of men are okay with a woman offering to pay the bill. Although in my experience many ladies offer to split or pay the bill because they don’t want to see the man again or don’t want to feel they owe the guy anything.
Only 19% of women will make the first contact on dating apps. The majority of ladies still want men to take the lead and make the first move, but 75% of men like it if women contacts them first on dating apps. So maybe it is time to start sending that first message to the cute guy, you will stand out from the crowd.
A Different Approach
With men living in fear of behaving inappropriately and women still wanting the traditional approach – it’s tough. 83% said love was hard to find while 73% said they were still hopeful they would find it. Ladies taking the lead doesn’t mean you will end up paying the mortgage one day. It just means that you are reaching out to start a conversation that could lead to you finding the love of your life!
#metoo and Dating
The study had some interesting findings when it came to the affects of #metoo.
- 51% #metoo caused them to act differently
- 39% caused them to act reserved at work towards female colleagues
- More reserved – 35% approaching someone new, 33% on a date and 28% on social media
- Overall only 14% believe it has made it more challenging.
First Impressions Aren’t Always Right
According to the study, 39% of people have fallen in love with people they didn’t initially think they would fall in love with. It was interesting to note that 70% became attracted to someone they weren’t initially!
Why Checklists Go Out the Window!
I loved that the study asked the question about checklists. I find unless you have the ‘right’ checklist it will go out the window and the study agrees.
It found that:
- 40% single women in their 20’s have a checklist of attributes they want and 25% of all other age groups have one.
- 52% of men and 46% of women have dated someone who didn’t match their checklist.
- 39% of singles have fallen in love with someone they didn’t initially find attractive
- 59% have fallen in love with someone who didn’t meet their checklist!
Why does this happen? There are a number of reasons:
- What singles say they want and what they actually want is different.
- Making chemistry more important than your values.
- Allowing chemistry to override your list – there are some unique reasons this happens!
- Being unclear about what is really important to you.
When the study looked about modern relationships it found ‘I love you but I love me more’ with 49% wanting to achieve happiness before dating
Study reveals the Top 3 Fears
- 69% scared about getting hurt
- 69% are scared of being taken advantage of
- 59% of singles biggest fear is wasting time
Top Qualities Single Most Wanted
- 78% of singles want someone who treats them with respect
- 53% communicates their wants and needs
- 75% I can trust and confide in them
- 52% is comfortable with their own sexuality
- 59% has a sense of humour
- 52% makes enough time for me
Top Deal breakers
- 68% poor hygiene
- 45% unclean appearance
- 43% laziness
- 41% lack of humour
- 39% emotionally needy
Biggest Put Off’s
- 31% lack of quality time
- 30% not listening
- 23% money
- 22% blatant lying
- 20% withdrawing emotionally
- 19% cheating
The Study did find that a connection does outweighs the challenges!
How singles avoid a fight – 40% said the best way was to remind themselves what they liked about their partner.
Saying I love you
It seems a great deal of thought goes into saying I love you with very few singles saying those three words spontaneously.
- 4% said it spontaneously for the first time
- 21% over the phone
- The Study found that 17% told someone via text message
- There were 17% who used the magic word during sex
- The same amount, 17% managed to say those words after sex
Social Media Turn Off’s
- 61% airing emotional drama in posts
- 44% excessive posting
- 43% hiding information
Sex
It seems that love really does make sex better!
- 32% of singles agree you have to be in love to have great sex
- 84% say sex is better when you are in love
- 64% unlikely to ask numbers vs 12% say they would
- 52% Had a one night stand
- 41% Experienced FWB (friends with benefits).
- 27% Had a sexual affair
For 67% of singles if vacation sex didn’t happen then the trip was a flop
Facts that the Study revealed about Young Singles and Dating
More Than Just a Fling: 70% of Gen Z and 63% of Millennials are looking for romantic love. Oh and it’s their choice with only 14% saying pressure from others is the reason they are looking for long term commitment.
Optimism Reigns: Millennials and Gen Z singles are the most optimistic daters. 75% of Gen Z and 69% of Millennials believe they will find love while only 46% of older singles believe they will find what they are really looking for.
Slow Love: 40% of young singles want self-acceptance before they look for love; 23% say they need to be in a certain place in their career; and 20% need to have a certain income level before committing and 1/3 of young singles believe their finances are holding them back from love.
Dating Digitally and Carefully: Today most singles meet through dating apps, rather than in a bar, through friends or relatives (26% of singles overall met their last first date online).
Enjoying 1st Dates: Gen Z and Millennials went on an average of 5 first dates in 2018, older generations averaged 2 dates. 48% of young singles have dated someone they met online.
What the Study Found About Sex
This stat I have to admit I found quite surprising – 52% of young men had been asked for a dic pic and 44% had sent one! Whereas for other ages 31% of straight men have been asked for a dick pic!
The magic number of people each gender wasn’t that different for men and women. I wonder, do you think this number is less than it would be for Australians?
The average straight single has had sex with 5 people in their lifetime.
Bi women 6, lesbians 5, Gay men 25
- 56% doubt if they are seeing a potential partner accurately
- 49% question if they are really in love
- 47% friendship turned sexual
- 44% phone sex
- 36% a sexual affair
- 30% group sex
- 22% filmed sex
This Study Found Generation X have more fun under the overs and in public too
- 49% sex in a public place
- 70% of Gen Z want long learn
- 63% of millennials want romantic love
- 11% date casually
- 51% have created a profile on an app
- 68% carefully evaluated a profile rather than flipping thru the photos.
- 1/3 stopped dating because the other person didn’t want to label the relationship
- 38% had sent a nude and 52% had received one
Can women commit?
Women between 18 to 39 are actually more likely to doubt whether they can handle a relationship than men- the percentage was 58% of women and 52% of men.
To see the full results go to Singles in America.
Remember, Dare2Date are hear to help you be successful in the dating world. Simply call 61450 771 382 or email Debbie@Dare2Date.com.
