Today I want to deal with seven dating myths you’ll wish you had known so much earlier! Dating can feel tough and I am sure everyone has advice to offer you. You know people will tell you the supposed do’s and don’ts, but which ones should you listen to and which are just silly myths that will waste more of your precious time?
The answers I am going to give you will make your dating life a whole lot easier and I sure that is something you want.
7 Dating Myths You’ll Wish You Knew Sooner
1. You Can’t Make Yourself More Attractive
One of the huge dating myths is that you can’t make yourself more attractive! Everyone can make the most of what they have. Wearing the right clothes, having the right haircut and simply wearing a smile will instantly make you more attractive. Remember a smile costs nothing and makes all the difference.
Confidence and warmth will make you instantly more attractive. Take the time to do what you need to feel good about yourself and to feel more confident. People will always remember how they felt around you, long after they remember how you looked!
2. There must be a ‘spark’
One of the biggest dating myths of them all is that there must be a spark and it is time to realise that it is total BS. Everyone is looking for that instant attraction, you know they are expecting to get hit by a bolt of lightning the moment they meet someone and dismiss people when they don’t!
Did you know that instant attraction only happens 11% of the time? This means that 89% of people don’t feel that instant attraction when they meet their person! I want you to take a moment for that to sink in because you could be focused on the wrong thing! Did you know that the most successful relationships are ones that start with the ‘slow burn’? Think about it for a moment, that means that attraction and chemistry can and does built over time. With this in mind instead of making that instant decision give it 2 to 3 dates before you make the decision.
First impressions aren’t accurate in the superficial and highly-charged world of dating. Of course, there are going to be some definite no’s but I see clients genuinely surprised when they give people a chance. In fact, many have ended up in a wonderful relationship because they did! If you’re only dating your ‘type’, you’re doing you could be missing out on the right person for you! Lose the checklist and trust your gut feeling.
3. Don’t date a person who has just broken up
This may sound straight forward but I see too many singles fall into the trap of dating someone who isn’t over their ex. If the person you are dating is continually talking about their ex it isn’t a good sign. I want to let you know that no matter how amazing you are they just aren’t ready yet. When someone isn’t ready then can simply be in the moment, enjoying your company for what it is. This won’t change the fact that they aren’t ready to be in the type of relationship you do!
This is called a rebound relationship where the other person is filling up the space left by their previous relationship. It gives them a distraction to feel good rather than deal with the pain. This can lead to issues in the rebound relationship and also make it unstable.
4. The things you don’t like can be sorted
When you fall for the spark or chemistry it literally shuts down the judgement part of your brain, but only about the person you are attracted to. This allows you to overlook the things you don’t like. Don’t do this because you can end up in love with someone who makes you miserable. Overlooking your deal breakers and the other person’s flaws is never a good idea and will often be the very things you break up within the end. Breakups are tougher than seeing the signs and trusting your gut feeling in the early days.
You can also want to be in a relationship so much that you overlook what you don’t like. Don’t – there is someone out there who is right for you, you don’t need to settle.
5. Online is full of liars, scammers and weirdos
There is a huge misconception that everyone online is a liar or out to rip you off. Research has found that small white liars may be common – like age, weight, education and jobs. However, these lies are just as common in the real world and are all about getting the first date. The good news is that research has found that while slight misrepresentations are quite common, major lies are actually RARE online.
Online dating is the one place you will find more singles in one location than anywhere else! Yes, there will be scammers, weirdos but also the quality single people you want to meet! There is a way to use online dating to ensure you are successful that will make all the difference and as a Dating Coach, that’s where I come in!
Did you know by 2040 we will see the rise of e-babies! Surprisingly, online dating is the most popular way for Australians to meet. The Future of Dating report, based on a survey of more than 2000 Australians, found almost 30% said that online dating was their chosen way to meet singles, while 17% chose meeting through work, and 16% chose meeting through friends. Back in the ’80s, one in five met in pubs but that has dropped to an incredible 6%. Researchers also found that within 20 years, more couples will meet online than any other way, and e-babies will be a phenomenon! Good news for those wanting a serious relationship too – there are more singles looking for families and commitment online – rather than just a hookup.
6. You have to wait three days to contact
Picture this: You go on a first date, everything’s great. In fact, it’s your best date in forever. You both agreed that you would catch up again but haven’t made any definite plans. You’re excited and want to see them soon. But if you go by the old-fashioned, well known, long-standing dating advice, you need to wait a whole 3 days to contact them. Insane right? Especially in the world of instant text messaging. Technology has changed everything, and this rule is officially dead. It’s dead because if you wait 3 days it’s likely the person will feel you aren’t really interested after all – or worse still, someone else might ‘cut your lunch’!
7. Thinking you need to marry the next person
I see people do this all the time. They literally don’t want to waste any more time with people who aren’t right for them. Okay, I understand this but by taking this approach you end up wasting more time and miss out on amazing singles.
You put too much pressure and expectations on every meeting you have. I recommend you go into each date being curious, having an open mind and enjoy the experience of meeting someone new. Get rid of your serious questions, as they just make the other person feel like they are being judged, which never brings the best out in anyone. Have fun on your date and you will find out so much more about the other person.
Dating Myths Conclusion
Now you know the 7 dating myths, it will make dating a little more straight forward for you.
You can read the advice in a blog and it may help, however, it might not get down to the problem that is holding you back from being successful. A Dating Coach can help you improve your image as well as your dating success. Why not book a free discovery call, you have everything to gain and nothing to lose.
Debbie- Relationship Coach
