Are There 36 Questions to Ask Fall in Love

By 19 January, 2021 January 22nd, 2021 Blog, Dating Tips
36 Questions

Are there 36 questions to ask to fall in love?

Apparently, the answer is yes there are! In fact, you can ask a complete stranger these 36 questions and fall in love!

Sounds crazy, yet it works to build a real and genuine connection between two people. This is something that OkCupid found singles are looking for in 2021, find out more in Dating Predictions for 2021.

These questions were developed by a psychologist called Arthur Aron, Dr Aron wanted to find out if intimacy between two perfect strangers could be speeded up by having them ask each other 36 personal questions. He carried out a study by getting strangers to answer the 36 questions and then gaze into each other’s eyes for four minutes.

He found it worked and one of the couples in the study even married 6 months after completing the experiment.

Dr Aron even found the questions helped rekindle the romance in long-term relationships as well.

The point of this study was all about creating real closeness and it was not about instantly falling in love.

In 2021, singles are looking for real meaningful connections and these questions will help you do just that.

The questions are good news for those who hate small talk or simply don’t know what to say!

The questions let you work out if you like each other and if you feel safe with each other. The 36 questions are the perfect way to get real and vulnerable with each other – something that many singles genuinely struggle with.

The great thing about the 36 questions is it gives you a list of questions that neither of you has made up or over analysed. They allow you to get to really know what you both value and what is important to you. This creates that real connection and intimacy.

The 36 questions are broken up into three sections and each gets more personal as you go along.

The questions do take time, depending on the length and details you provide in your answers.

The 36 Questions

Set I

  1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
  2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
  3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
  4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
  5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
  6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
  7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
  8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
  9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
  10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
  11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
  12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Set II

  1. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
  2. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
  3. Tell me what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
  4. What do you value most in a friendship?
  5. Share what is your most treasured memory?
  6. Let me know what is your most terrible memory?
  7. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
  8. What does friendship mean to you?
  9. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
  10. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
  11. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
  12. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?


  1. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling …”
  2. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share …”
  3. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
  4. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
  5. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
  6. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
  7. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
  8. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
  9. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
  10. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
  11. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
  12. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

Now gaze into each other’s eyes for 4 minutes.


If you try the 36 questions, I would love to hear how it turned out for you!

Finally, if you are serious about finding love in 2021, coaching will get you in the place to let love in. I work on both the inside (how you feel about yourself and how you approach love) and the outside (the image you project to others).

Book your free discovery call here, everything to gain and nothing to lose!

Debbie x

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