Being Authentic: The New Buzzword and How to Achieve it!

By 12 November, 2017 Blog, Dating Tips

To get the love you want it is essential to be authentic! It is time to be the authentic you!

I can hear you asking what does that even mean!

The dictionary meaning of authentic is: of undisputed origin and not a copy; genuine.

Your authentic self is found at your core. It is the part of you not defined by your job or your relationships. It is all of your skills, talents and wisdom. It is all of the things that are uniquely yours and need expression, rather than what you believe you are supposed to be and do.

It is the secret to having a healthy relationship.

The problem is authenticity is not default behaviour! It is often easier to be what other people want you to be. Whether that means agreeing with your boss when you don’t or choosing to wear clothes you hate to fit in with a group of friends.

So I want to share with you 6 Tips to create an authentic life.

  1. Work out what your values are because you can’t be authentic if you don’t know what you value and want. Your values are the general expression of what is most important for you. A value expresses the worth of something, and they are like categories for all your preferences in life. Your values are generally operating in the background and not something you consciously think about. It can be common to keep the values you grew up with but it is important to examine if they are what feels right for you now. When you are clear about your values you are then able to match your actions with your values and what results is you are free to be authentic.
  2. Loving yourself is a key to creating an authentic life.  If you don’t love yourself or have high self-esteem, it will stand to reason that you won’t like yourself and therefore won’t want to be yourself! If you can’t be yourself you can’t be authentic. Love is a doing word not something you simply have, therefore you need to consistently take action to love yourself. For tips how to read – How to Improve your Self-Esteem.
  3. Have an open mind. Authenticity grows when you experience the world wholly, from every perspective. Rigid, good/bad thinking will keep you trapped in judgment and limitation, which causes you to shut down your vulnerable, authentic self. Challenge yourself to look at all sides of the situation. Be open.
  4. I want you to ask yourself this question – What is something that someone who knows me well would know about me? _______________________________________________________________________________________________.. This will tell you what you feel is a big part of you. It gives you the chance to look at yourself from other perspectives of how you show yourself to the world.
  5. Notice when you are being inauthentic. Pay attention to times when you don’t mean what you say, and when the way you are acting does not match your core values. Then explore the fears and beliefs that may create those barriers to your authenticity.
  6. Trust your intuition. Often, you feel out of sync when you are acting inauthentic. Things just don’t feel right. Pay attention to those hunches, physical sensations, and impressions. They can be your instincts telling you that you are not being genuine. When you are on track and authentic, you’ll feel that too.

How will you know you are being authentic? Here are five ways to know!

  1. Being authentic means you are truthful to yourself.
  2. You can express your true thoughts, feelings and views unapologetically
    This can be a big one. When you are authentic you don’t say things that you don’t mean nor do you do things you don’t want to. You are able to share your thoughts, feelings and views without being afraid of what other people think.
  3. You are not a people pleaser
    It can be all too easy to want people to like you but when you are authentic you are happy with being you and no longer feel that you have to twist out of shape to please other people. You know that if or when you do this you will be disconnected from being authentic.
  4. You love yourself
    Remember loving yourself is an action and something you need to continually do. When you do love yourself you are able see yourself as someone with value who deserves love, kindness and support. You look after yourself giving yourself care to support your health and well-being.
  5. Accepting yourself and being willing to see and acknowledge your faults
    Being authentic means being able to accept yourself how you are – the good, the bad and the ugly. Remember that no-one is perfect and perfection is often boring anyway! You don’t have to like everything about yourself but you accept all of it letting go of the judgement of yourself and others.
  6. You understand you are one of a kind — and that’s okay!
    They know that not everyone is going to agree on everything all the time. You can accept of different views and opinions. You don’t label themselves as “right” and another person as “wrong” or visa versa.
  7. You are responsible for your life and not a victim
    You take full responsibility for yourself, your actions and the results of your actions. You don’t blame others for what has happened in your life. You are willing to look at how you have influenced each and every situation and act accordingly.

 Debbie xxoxx

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