Is your fear of rejection and being seen as a creepy guy killing your chances of ever getting a date?
To be successful with women it starts with a conversation! When you struggle to have the courage to talk to her it will always leads to rejection and kills your chance of getting a date.
I get it you don’t want to be rejected but most people have experienced rejection at some time or another. Whether that is not getting a job you wanted or accepted to a course or the person you talked to isn’t interested in you. Both men and women experience that fear of rejection.
However, the only way to get the job, be accepted into the course or get a date is to get past that fear of rejection so you can take action.
What is the fear of rejection?
The fear of rejection is that irrational fear that the person you talk to won’t accept you because of your looks, personality, qualifications/success or who you are. The fear of rejection is not based on any evidence and is actually irrational. The reality is you have don’t have any proof that the other person won’t like you or that you aren’t good enough for that job. However, you have convinced yourself that the risk it too high so you don’t take action!
Why does that fear of rejection happen?
The fear of rejection often happens because you don’t feel like you are good enough. You feel less qualified, less attractive or less interesting than other people. The reality is that this often has no basis in reality!
Fear of Being the Creepy Guy
For men they also tend to have the fear of being seen as that ‘creepy guy’. This fear stops them talking to women!
The Problem with the Fear of Rejection and Fear of Being the Creepy Guy
The problem with the fear of rejection and of being the creep guy is it kills your chances of getting a date and being successful with women in general!
Both are DESTROYING your chances of success.
To be successful you need to get past those fears and talk to women in a way that is both respectful and doesn’t cross their boundaries. If you want more tips read – How to Overcome Approach Anxiety.
What Women Find Creepy
Okay one of the biggest problems is that women have a clear idea of what they find creepy! Men don’t’!
So, let’s start by looking at the 8 things that men do that women find creepy:
8 Things that Men do that Women Find Creepy
- Unwanted staring
- Digital stalking
- Unwilling to accept no
- Unwanted physical contact
- Pressure to engage in sexual activity
- Being clingy
- Men getting angry at rejection
- Physical stalking
Men How to Avoid Being the Creepy Guy
The first step is to recognise the 8 things that women think are creepy and simply don’t do them. Most of this list would make anyone feel uncomfortable, right?
Safety is a big concern for most women! Meeting men who continually stare, who are unwilling to accept no, who are intent on physical contact when it isn’t asked for, who pressure to have sex or who stalk make women feel unsafe!
You can talk to women without being any of those things! In fact, when you do it will increase your chances of getting a date.
Here are 3 Simple Tips:
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In Person
When you see someone you like in person don’t stare at them wondering whether to approach. Women find guys starting at them for long periods of time without taking action creepy. Don’t overthink it go over and talk to her like you would to any other human being. Women find the idea that the only reason you’re talking to them is based on looks creepy. Women are people. They want to be valued for who they are rather than just how they look.
Go over and say, ‘Hi, my names Jack, it’s nice to meet you, what’s your name’. Then have something to say to her other than standing their awkwardly! If the woman you are talking to stops responding to your conversation and shows they aren’t interested politely end the conversation, with, ‘it’s been nice meeting you, enjoy your night’.
Way too often men get angry when women aren’t interested and as a woman that is scary to be on receiving end of. When you end the conversation nicely, respecting her choice you leave a good impression. That is playing a longer game as you never know what could come of that if you ever run into her again. However, that is not the intention it is more about respecting her boundaries and accepting no.
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In Person
Ok you might think that touching a girl on a first date or when you first meet shows that you’re interested. But’s that’s not the case, in fact, it can give the wrong impression. I know that there is plenty of advice out there that recommends a guy touches a girl to make sure he stays out of the friend zone. But it can give the impression that you are a touchy/feely with everyone and isn’t the way to make any girl feel special.
As a woman I can tell you that for most women it feels uncomfortable when a complete stranger insists on touching them. Instead of building attraction it feels creepy and kills attraction. When you first meet someone or go on a date touch should be natural, friendly and not sexual
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Apps/Online
The online world can be brutal for men. I recommend that you don’t get caught up in the idea of someone before you have met in real life. You want to be able to create a real connection via your messaging chat. This is not about convincing someone to like you but having a good conversation. You would never walk up to a bar, hand a girl your phone number and walk away so don’t do the equivalent with your messages on dating apps. If you are not sure what to send you might want to read 3 Startling Examples of Messages that Work. Also, remember that people are not on the apps 24/7 and if someone doesn’t respond quickly enough or in the way you want don’t get angry at them in a message. Becasue all the girl who receives an angry message will do is she it as a sign that she has dodged a bullet because this comes across as creepy. It will definitely kill your chances of getting a date.
Debbie, Relationship Coach
