Dating is easy, in fact it’s the easiest most natural thing in the world if you take people out of the equation. People complicate dating unnecessarily in my opinion, they think too much, try to impress others and simply pretend to be people they aren’t.
Let’s look at your first date, you’ve done the hard part and landed a date, well done… now comes the fun part, or it should be if you follow these few tips.
Be Confident
I understand that not everyone is confident but when it comes to dating nothing makes girls more interested in you than being confident… it really is a case of the confident man is the one with all the girls. This comes down to natural selection and women wanting to reproduce with alpha males and nothing tells a female that you’re an alpha male than being extremely confident.
Even if you’re not confident it is possible to act confident, remember it’s not your perception that’s important it’s your dates… so let me give you a quick lesson in being confidence.
- Wash, shave and put something that smells nice on, do this within a three-hour window of your date starting and dress appropriately. Knowing that you look and smell good should give you some measure of confidence.
- Speak in an authoritive, friendly and confident manner… even if on the inside you are cringing. Start by standing up straight, or sitting properly and not slouching… smile and just talk slowly and clearly. If you’ve absolutely no confidence speaking to women, don’t wait for your dream girl to appear, start small and talk to other girls so that you build your confidence.
- Look the girl you are speaking to in the eye, hold her eye for a short while before looking away… nothing demonstrates confidence more than a willingness to look someone in the eye while you talk. Just be careful not to come across as staring as that it scary… lol
- Smile and laugh, smiling makes you appear open and warn while laugher is the key to any girls’ heart. It should however appear natural and not forced.
Be Yourself
Don’t try and pretend to be someone you are not. You are one hundred percent unique so use this to your advantage and be yourself. Some people will love you and others won’t but everyone will like and respect you for being uniquely yourself.
Have Fun and Have Realistic Expectations
Don’t get stressed about your end game… in fact don’t even have an end game, simply go out with the sole aim to have fun. This means selecting a suitable place to meet up for a first date. To me this means meeting in a wine bar or such like, we’re all adults lets relax and have a drink and get to know one another.
When meeting a girl, you tend to generally sit at a table and this often means that the girl will sit one side of the table and you will automatically sit the other side. Don’t do this if at all possible, the best place to sit is actually next to them. By doing so you can accidentally touch their leg, brush their arm, etc.… and they will do likewise. This helps build the bond between you.
You should be talking and having fun, a first date is a little like an interview at times, that’s normal but you can still and should have fun with your answers. When talking remember to ask leading questions, and don’t be afraid of silence pauses, in fact learn to use these to your advantage. If you can make any girl talk more than you do, the strange thing is that she’ll think you’re more interesting even though you are actually speaking less, strange but true.
Try to remember the girl you are meeting name, and use it at least three times in your initial conversations as this will enable you to remember it, and girls’ kind of like that. Don’t assume you’re going to be an item and start talking in the future tense, remember all you are doing is meeting and having fun, stick to that script for now, that should be your main expectation out of this date.
How long should your date last
The simple answer is as long as you are both having fun, when either side stops having fun you’ll find your date ends pretty quickly. I know there are schools of thought that say you should limit initial dates to an hour or less, but I’m not one of those people.
Can You Kiss and Should You?
Not many people know how to kiss properly, it’s actually an art form that you need to be taught and that once mastered will help you stand heads and shoulders above others. If on a first date the opportunity presents itself and you and your date are obviously getting along, go for that first kiss.
Your aim isn’t to get to first base, it’s simply to kiss and leave her wanting more.
Should Guys Pay for a First Date
I’m firmly in the school that guys pay for the initial dates, its old school I admit but guys need to be guys and girls need to be girls… and sadly guys that means you need to respect them and put your hand in your pocket. Also is someone that you are dating has too much to drink as a result of a longer than expected first date, do the right thing put them in a cab, give the driver the fare and ask the driver to ensure they get home safe.
Hard and Fast Rules
As you can see there are no real hard and fast rules, in fact the only rule is to have fun and to try and ensure your date does too. By following these few simple tips I hope it ensures all of your dates go just a little bit easier and remember most dates fail… so go in with that expectation, expect just to have fun and you’ll not feel pressured at all.
Steve Cartwright
