To get the Relationship you Want you Must have the 3 C’s!

By 11 May, 2019 Blog, Dating Tips

To get the relationship you have always wanted you MUST have the 3 C’s!

Are you frustrated that you can’t find the right person? Or hate how dating has changed.

You know it’s:

  • Superficial

  • No-one wants a proper relationship

  • It seems to be all about sex.

Maybe you met someone you had amazing chemistry with and for the first time you could actually  imagine being with someone. But as time went on you found that they just weren’t looking for the same level of commitment as you.

Single people vary so much in where they are at, what they are looking for and if they are ready for a proper relationship.  Singles will often think they are ready for a relationship but after they start dating realise they just aren’t as ready as they thought. It’s all about timing.

Men, particularly will only settle down when the time is right. No matter how amazing a woman may be, if the time isn’t right then they won’t commit.  Women tend to be the opposite and often give up their dreams when they find someone who matches what they are looking for.

Nowadays it’s common to want a connection without the commitment.

Just because someone isn’t ready for a relationship it doesn’t mean they want to sit at home alone on the weekend. They may get tired of hanging out with their mates and just want to hang out with someone of the opposite sex. Women like the company of men and men like the company of women. So, I can tell you if they have someone who is showing up, making themselves available  of course they will make the most of it. Whether it is sex, fun or simply being around someone of the opposite sex.

It can get a little confusing!

I see many singles wasting years on someone who doesn’t want the same level of commitment and never will.

If you are looking for a relationship then it doesn’t have to be so hard! You just need to look for the 3 C’s.

What exactly are the 3 C’s?

The 3 C’s are:

Chemistry, Compatibility and Commitment.

If you have only 1 or 2 out of the 3 C’s you will not EVER get the relationship you want.

  1. Chemistry – compatibility = won’t last or fulfil you. 
  2. Having chemistry + commitment – compatibility = won’t make you happy long term. 
  3. If you have chemistry +  compatibility – commitment = a relationship that doesn’t last.

Let’s take a quick look at each of the 3 C’s.

1.  Chemistry

Many singles put a high value on chemistry and believe it’s the best way to find their match, but it’s not.


Because you  can have amazing chemistry with people you don’t even like. It is important to to chose someone who has the same values as you and who wants  commitment otherwise you will never have a lasting connection.

What exactly is chemistry or that elusive ‘spark’?

The dictionary meaning of chemistry is: ‘the complex emotional or psychological interaction between people.’

Definition – While chemistry has been described as “that romantic spark between [two people]”, the term “spark” in the context of relationships is as vague as “chemistry”, and therefore is not particularly useful in a definition. It has also been described as “intangible, unspoken [and] energetic”.

Chemistry is complex.

Many singles get caught up in the  chemistry trap, which is:

  1. Being with someone who will NEVER be compatible with you, just because you have chemistry.
  2. Putting up with bad treatment because the chemistry is amazing.
  3. Settling for crumbs rather than commitment, leaving you insecure and unfulfilled.

Chemistry is only one of the 3 C’s, you need the other two to have an awesome relationship.

2. Compatibility

Compatibility is being able to work together in a relationship. Relationship compatibility is when a couple relates with equality and respect. It’s important for couples to be authentically themselves, be able to have fun together and enjoy the time they spend together.

The dictionary definition of compatibility is: a state in which two things are able to exist or occur together without problems or conflict.
synonyms: like-mindedness, similarityagreementaffinityclosenessfellow feelingharmonyrapportempathysympathyfriendshipcamaraderietogethernesscommunionconcord

Being compatible is not just about sharing interests, in fact, different interests can work quite well. Two very opposite people can be compatible, the key is to have matching values in life.

 Values are the things that are important to you, the characteristics and behaviours that motivate  and guide your decisions.  Having mismatching values makes a couple incompatible.

Examples of Mismatching Values

  1. Where one  person values honesty and the other doesn’t.
  2. If one of you loves going out and hanging out with people and the other person prefers to stay home.
  3. One person wants to live in the city and the other wants to live in the country.
  4. Maybe one person wants  a 5 star lifestyle and the other prefers the simple life.
  5. It could be that one person wants children and the other person doesn’t want any.
  6. You like being on time as it’s all about respect, but your partner is always late.

No matter how much chemistry you have, these differences can end driving you apart. You will end up thinking if they really loved me they would; be honest, socialise, live where I want to, have children or be on time, etc.

The difference in the things that matter most will end up killing the relationship in the long run.

The key when meeting new people is to be clear about what matters to you; it will save you pain and heartache in the long run.

Handy Hint:  You can tell what someone values by looking at their lives and at their actions. 

3.  Commitment

committed relationship is a relationship based upon a mutually agreed-upon commitment to one another involving love, trust, honesty, openness, or some other behaviour.

If you are sick of friends with benefits, of being someones option when it suits them, of superficial hookups that don’t satisfy you then its time to stop settling for what you don’t want.

Not everyone is looking for a relationship and many will enjoy all the benefits without any commitment. That is fine as everyone is allowed to chose what they are looking for, but you don’t have to accept that if it isn’t what you are looking for.

However, if you are looking for commitment don’t settle for anything less than what you want or you will never get it!

Without this factor you cannot create lasting love.

I also want to let you know that when a person is ready to commit and wants to commit to you then you will be in absolutely no doubt at all as they will show you by their words and actions.

Handy Hint:  People always tell you exactly what they want, so make sure you listen to what they are saying to you.


If you are looking for a relationship it is quite simple you will need to have all 3 C’s. Don’t fall into the trap of any one or two without the others.

It you are not sure how to navigate the world of dating and relationships, don’t worry we are here to help you. Simply call 0450 771 392 or email

Debbie xxoxx

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