How Attractive are You (Really)?

By 9 August, 2020 August 16th, 2020 Advice for Women, Blog

How Attractive are you (Really)?

Have you ever wondered how attractive you really are to the men you would like to date?

Do you worry that you aren’t young enough, thin enough or pretty enough?

Did you know that a first impression is made in only 7 seconds? That isn’t a lot of time whether you are meeting in a coffee shop, on a dating app or at a singles event.

You may think that impression is all about how you look but it is about so much more than that! In fact, it is often more about how you make people feel when you are around them.

Men may be physical creatures, yet that first impression is so much more than skin deep and there is even research that can prove that.

Let’s look at what men find initially attractive and what they look for in the long-term.

You might feel that the initial attraction will be controlled by body type and how ‘hot’ you are. Yet that isn’t entirely true, which is great news.

Back in 2011, and surveyed 20,000 people to determine the answers to all what men really find attractive.

They found that “sexual chemistry” and “smile” were the top two things that men initially found attractive when first meeting.

When the guys were looking for a long-term relationship he rated  ‘kindness’ and ‘sense of humour’ at the top of their list.

Top 10 Things that initially attract men to women:

  1. Sexual chemistry
  2. Smile
  3. Kindness
  4. Sense of humour
  5. General body type
  6. Eyes
  7. Intelligence
  8. Communication skills
  9. Teeth/lips
  10. Hair

Top 10 things that attract men to women for long-term relationships:

  1. Kindness
  2. Sense of humour
  3. Communication skills
  4. Sexual prowess
  5. Intelligence
  6. Smile
  7. Listening skills
  8. Money/wealth
  9. General body type/fitness
  10. Eyes

You may think you have a certain body type to get the guy, yet the results say the opposite!

How cool is it to know that for men to be attracted to you –  your smile is more important than your body type.

A smile is something that costs you nothing and will make you instantly more attractive!

A smile makes you look approachable and kind (which men love)! Men tell me that women don’t smile often enough and it makes them feel great when they get a smile from a lady. It really does comes back how you make them feel when you smile at them rather than how you look!


All the things that men found attractive in women they want to have a long-term relationship with are more about how you make them feel – kindness, sense of humour and being able to communicate.

Ladies I also want to let you know that men notice how you treat other people, including the men you aren’t interested. They look to see if you are kind rather than judgemental. I have seen men say no to women at singles events because of how they noticed them treating the men they aren’t interested in. They didn’t like seeing the cold behaviour which comes across to them as bitchy!

Interesting to know that sexual prowess was rated lower than kindness, sense of humour and being able to communicate!

Ladies instead of wearing the low cut top – put on your beautiful smile!

It is easy to believe that you know what men are looking for, yet the research shows these are just stereotypes! When you lose these stereotypes, you will see that what men are looking for isn’t that different from what you are looking for! At least, when they are looking for a long-term relationship.

So instead of worrying about how you look, make sure you wear a smile, be kind to your date and take your sense of humour with you to be instantly more attractive. Oh, and lose the judgement as that doesn’t feel kind to the men you meet and only makes him feel like judged and like he has to measure up.

Instead of being judgemental, just be curious about how it feels to be around him! He may be great looking, yet if he doesn’t feel good to be around it won’t give you the happy relationship you are looking for!

For the men reading this blog what women are looking for isn’t that much different and I will follow up with the insider tips into what that is.

Debbie xx


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