It’s true going to events where you don’t know anyone can feel awkward. But if you want to meet new people and increase your chances of meeting someone who is right for you, you’re going to have to do it.
Everything good happens outside of your comfort zone!
At an event, you want to be able to move around the room and talk to as many people as possible. Because the only way you will really know if you are going to like someone is by talking to them.
Over the decade I have been a Dating/Relationship Coach I know that people can be different to what you expect. A conversation with the hot single can kill any attraction and a conversation with someone else can ignite a spark that surprises you.
Okay, let’s imagine you have taken the time to look your best and get to the event.
Body Language!
The first thing you need to do is be aware of your body language and the message it is sending out to others.
Why?
Because 93% of communication is non-verbal. So, if you want to make a good impression at the event it’s time to look at what your body language is communicating to others.
- When you feel uncomfortable you may try to make yourself appear smaller – by looking at the ground and slumping your shoulders. This creates the first impression that you aren’t confident. The other thing you may be tempted to do is to cross your arms. Crossing your arms makes you appear like you are annoyed, bored or upset. Instead have open body language. Uncross your arms, stand up straight, shoulders back and make eye contact. This will make you look confident even if you don’t feel it!
- If your resting face screams bitch or that you are pissed off then you will be turning others off who might want to get to know you. Smile! It will make you ten times more attractive and approachable! A smile makes it so much easier for people to talk to you. I know you may use that resting face to put off the people you don’t want to talk to. But guess what it will also put off the people you do want to talk to!
- Nowadays when people are uncomfortable they automatically reach for their phones as a safety blanket. Don’t! Put your phone away. No one is going to want to talk to you if you are always checking your phone. It makes you look like you aren’t interested and you are checked out! Be present, be in the moment no matter how uncomfortable it may feel.
How to Deal with the 10 Types of People you Meet at Events
Just like any type of event, you will meet a wide range of people from all walks of life. However, you will come across 10 types of people.
When you know the types of people you may meet and how to respond/deal with them will go a long way to make it easier for you to enjoy the event. Maybe you can even add a little fun to the experience that is outside of your comfort zone.
1. Just the Type of People you Want to Meet!
There will be all sorts of different types of people with different qualities like smart, funny, intelligent, kind, open, sensitive, emotionally intelligent, etc. In fact, you will meet lovely people who you get on well with, you know, just the type of people you want to meet.
Enjoy the experience of meeting new people but don’t fall into any of the traps listed below!
2. Types of People – The Over talker
Chatty is good, however, the over talker doesn’t stop talking! The over talker will find any way to keep the conversation going!
Usually, conversations will come to a natural end, so that you can move easily to the next person/conversation. However, the over talker will do anything to stop this from happening.
The over talker may keep you held hostage and you may feel quite rude stopping the conversation as you don’t want to interrupt.
However, don’t fall into that trap or you could be stuck there all night. Take control of the conversation and say, ‘It was lovely meeting you, I am going to continue to meet the other people here. Thank you for the conversation, have a great evening!’ It is polite and allows you to move on and enjoy the rest of the event.
If you are the over talker – remember that conversation needs to go both ways. You may be nervous or feel like you need to tell the other person what’s good about you but this doesn’t work! Remember that no one wants to be ‘talked at’.
3. Types of People – The Wall Hugger
You could be tempted to walk into the room and blend into the background, especially if you are shy. However, you can end up fading into the landscape and being written off as not confident.
If this is you, be brave and have a conversation with someone else who is also on their own. You could even take a moment to meet a new friend.
If this is not you then know that you will find many wall huggers at events, they are either shy or taking the time to observe the room. For them, it is easier to blend into the background. Why not say a kind word, share a brief conversation and inspire them to develop the confidence to work in the room, too?
4. Talks to one person all night
You will find the people who only talk to one person all night. This can happen for a few reasons.
- They have found someone they click with and aren’t interested in talking to anyone else.
- Are too nervous to move around the room.
- Looked around the room and did not see anyone they like so they are just talking to someone with who they felt comfortable talking to.
This can be tricky for the person they are talking to because it can give the impression that they are interested in something more when they aren’t. Remember a long conversation does not mean the other person is interested in something more. We can all enjoy talking to people who we may not date.
The other thing that single people do is talk to people to see what they have in common. During a long conversation, it can become obvious that you are incompatible. Remember this isn’t personal.
5. Types of People – The Stalker
At an event, you will find the people who see you and want to talk to you. They may have an initial conversation with you and after you have politely moved on they keep trying to talk to you again. The stalker at an event will do anything to keep the conversation going and may try to follow you around. Hoping that they can talk to you and only you again!
The stalker doesn’t mean any harm like in the traditional sense of a stalker! They have just seen someone they like and want to see what happens.
It may feel flattering but it is more likely to make you feel uncomfortable.
The reality is that no one wants a stalker!
Of course, having someone you like keep trying to talk to you is good if you are interested. It wouldn’t be a problem and you would find yourself naturally talking to them again.
The Stalker – if you are the ‘stalker’ read the signs that someone isn’t interested and talk to someone else.
If you have a stalker – If you have someone who is persistent and you aren’t interested, it is best to be clear that you aren’t interested and that you would like to meet other people and wish them luck
6. The Self-Absorbed
Let’s face it everywhere you go, including singles events, there will be someone who loves to be the centre of attention. They will take every opportunity to be in the spotlight.
They seem to have little to no interest in what you want to say as it’s all about them!
Meeting new people needs to be a two-way experience!
When you meet someone who is self-obsessed and you aren’t enjoying the conversation you don’t need to waste your time stroking their ego!
Just move on and talk to someone who you can get a word in!
If you are a self-absorbed or bigger than life personality it may be time to realise that it doesn’t get the results you want.
7. The Whinger
At any type of event, you will come across people who make complaining the focus of their conversations. Let’s face it some people just like to complain
They will complain about the venue, the people, the food, etc, etc.
It’s normal for things to go wrong from time to time. But this should not be the focus of every single conversation, especially at an event.
Whingers kill your mood! They even end up sucking the life out of you and can affect how you feel about the event and the people you meet.
If you’re talking to a complainer, try to lighten the mood. Maybe tell them a fun story, a joke or something inspiring.
If that doesn’t work and they still want to whinge, move on to the next person before they drag you down!
8. The Gossiper
You will find the gossiper at any event. They use the time they are talking to you to talk about other people.
It can be easy to fall into the trap of talking about other people when you are uncomfortable. However, there are better things to talk about than bonding over gossip.
Oh and remember that anyone who is happy to talk about others will be happy to talk about you too.
If you find yourself in this situation, simply politely remove yourself from the conversation.
9. Person Aiming for the Sympathy Vote
You may find the single person who feels like they are too nice, too ugly, etc to date. They will use this to make you feel sorry for them and hopefully be interested in them.
If you are this person, it doesn’t work!
10. The Socialiser
The Socialiser is comfortable meeting new people and will easily move around the room talking to everyone. They enjoy meeting new people and try to make friends with everyone they meet. Events are easy for the socialiser. They are busy meeting people so they may not spend a lot of time listening or being systematic in who they talk to.
Finally
Do any of these people sound familiar? I am sure you have come across them at any type of event in the past!
Now you know some of the types of people you will meet, you won’t be caught off guard. You will know how to deal with them in advance. In all cases, the best way to deal with someone you don’t want to talk to is to politely remove yourself from the conversation.
Singles events are a way to meet people in the same position as you are. I find the best way to take advantage of the events is to move around the room and talk to as many people as possible.
Always go to the event without expectations! It may sound weird but just like Shakespeare said, ‘Expectation is the root of all heartache.’ If you come expecting to find the one and don’t it is too easy to feel disillusioned/disappointed. But remember life is about having fun, and expanding your social circles and while you are doing that you will meet someone along the way.
If the thought still terrifies you, why not book a coaching session?
Debbie
