How to feel Comfortable Giving and Receiving a Compliment

Compliments can be tricky! You may want them but don’t feel comfortable giving and receiving a compliment!

Generally speaking, women love compliments and men love appreciation. 

In the world of dating men giving compliments and women appreciating the man’s effort will make all the difference!

The problem is that a compliment is either not given or not accepted!

How do you feel when someone gives you a compliment?  Does it make you smile or just uncomfortable?

Do you automatically want to reject the compliment with an off-hand remark rather than gracefully accept it?

Personally, I love to see the smile that lights up someone’s eyes when you tell them their hair looks nice, or their outfit suits them.  And, most people give a compliment just to make someone else feel good and to see that lovely smile.

But the smile can quickly fade when you don’t know how to respond. Even after spending time getting ready and wanting to look good, it is easier to deflect or reject a compliment because it feels too uncomfortable.

Oh, and you could even misjudge the person giving the compliment by thinking they are only giving it to get something from you.

In the dating world the ‘hey you look beautiful’ is overused to get results, so it is hard for women to trust. For women, it doesn’t mean much from someone they don’t know. Most women want to be seen as more than ‘just beautiful’. This is one of the  7 Messages Men use Online that Women Hate! It is always better to give a compliment about something unique to her.

Why do We Feel Uncomfortable with a Compliment?

1. You want to be humble and when you accept a compliment it feels like you are bragging.
2. Your background. It could be the Australian Tall Poppy Syndrome or the English stiff upper lip or whatever your heritage is!  But you were brought up to have manners, to be polite and not brag or big-note yourself. Old traditions run deep and often have more of an impact than you think!
3. Some people feel they have to pretty much apologise for everything!
4. Low self -esteem. If you don’t feel good about yourself you can feel that the compliment doesn’t match how you see yourself.

So What’s the Best Way to Respond to a Compliment? 

A simple ‘Thank you” will do it!

That’s really quite easy when you think about it! If you want to continue the conversation, you could add, “that’s really nice of you to say that.”

A Compliment Does not have to  Just Be about Looks

There are many types of compliments and both men and women enjoy being appreciated.

You could say, “I really love your sense of style”, “I love your glasses, they really suit you”, or “that colour really looks good on you”. It is something specific about the person, rather than saying they look hot! Unique compliments get better results, especially online.

I’m pretty sure everyone wants the opposite sex to notice the new hairstyle or outfit you put effort into.  Everyone wants to be told that they “look nice”, or be appreciated for something they’ve done.

Appreciating the big and the little things people do for you will go a long way in life in general, as well as dating!

Here are examples of appreciation and complimenting people on the nice things they have done.

It could be: “wow that meal was delicious, thank you for cooking for me,” “thank you for helping with that, I couldn’t have done that!”, “Thank you for a lovely dinner and wonderful company”  or, “the garden looks fantastic today, you have done such a good job.”  It shows appreciation for the time and effort it took someone to complete a task and how you appreciate it.

Expectations and Compliments

It is no surprise that a woman can be confusing to men! They say they want compliments and then reject them!

Or they turn the compliment around and use it against the man.

Ladies this can be confusing for men! Men don’t like to fail and if you continue to reject his compliments he will stop giving them. Simple – so Stop it!

Here is an example:

Compliment: “Your hair looks lovely today.”  “What do you mean?  Are you saying my hair looks horrible most of the time?”

This is an extreme example of a rejected compliment, but I think you get my meaning.  And if you have been in relationships in the past where all attempts to compliment someone were rejected, then that can stop you complimenting in new relationships.  Making you less likely to give compliments because “what’s the point?”

Don’t fall into this trap! Leave the past in the past!

Sincerity is the key and means everything.

If a nice thought pops into your head, say it! 

But don’t necessarily expect anything in return. If you want to respond with a compliment in return, that’s great, but only if you really mean it.

DATING COMPLIMENT CHECKLIST

1. In the early days give specific compliments about what you like about the person.
2. Accept a compliment, even if you feel uncomfortable. All you need to say is “Thank you” and smile!
3. If you think of something nice,  say it. Alternatively, if it’s not so nice, keep it to yourself.
4. Don’t expect a compliment in return.
5. If your compliment is rejected or deflected, don’t take it personally!
6. Don’t take rejected compliments as a sign not to give them. In fact, keep giving a compliment when you think of one.
7. You don’t have to give a compliment in return unless you want to.
8. Don’t assume the person is giving you a compliment to get something from you!
9. Women often respond to a compliment about what they are wearing with how cheap the item was. Don’t! Simply accept the compliment!
10. Men don’t ration compliments!

Here’s to your success.

Debbie xxoxx