Have you ever received flirty messages from a guy, yet they never asked you on a date.
It’s confusing, frustrating and annoying. You find yourself trying to work out why!
Well the chances are you have experienced breadcrumbing!
Seriously if ghosting and benching weren’t bad enough in 2017 there is a brand new trend -breadcrumbing!
What is it?
It is when someone isn’t seriously into you but still wants to lead you on. Basically it is leading someone on with no intent to follow through.
Why do they do it?
Because it makes them feel good – it boosts their ego. They get attention from you and it gives them the option of more if they want it.
They are literally giving you breadcrumbs and you are gobbling them up!
The thing is that you don’t need to get sucked in. You get to decide how someone treats you.
Here are 5 tips on how to identify and deal with breadcrumbing:
- The guy who likes you and who is available will always make the effort to see you. So if he is full of excuses and never available then he is breadcrumbing you!
- Stop responding! Then the guy doesn’t get the attention and validation they crave. If someone is throwing you crumbs STOP picking them up! It’s that simple.
- Never make excuses for bad behaviour! People can treat you how you allow them to – you set the standards of what you will accept! Value yourself. A guy who is genuinely into you is NEVER too busy to call or see you (breadcrumbers tend to stick to text messages). It is simple when a guy is into you you will be in no doubt. From my coaching experience I have seen this time and time again. Guys will move heaven and earth when they are into a women.
Ladies if you are going to be picky make sure it is being picky about their behaviour that it is consistent, reliable and they are kind.
- The momentum will build. If you have gone on 1 or 2 dates and not heard from him to organise the next date within the next couple of weeks then he ins’t interested in anything serious. When a guy is interested in a relationship he will build the momentum – he will keep asking you out, introduce to people in his life and make you a part of his life.I know you may agonize over why he is texting you and not seeing you but again the answer is surprisingly simple – when a guy is interested in a relationship with you he will make a consistent effort to talk to you and see you.
- Challenge the Behaviour! Pull them up on what they are doing, say it as it is. Then give them a chance to change the behaviour. If they don’t simply block their number.
As a footnote I would like to add that women are also guilty of breadcrumbing as it passes time, gives them attention and gives them options (even if they don’t want them).
But seriously we all complain about how bad dating can be so to make the dating world a better place start treating people how they would like to be treated.
Deb xxoxx
