Is it True? Do Opposites Attract?
Do opposites really attract or is that just a recipe for disaster?
I am sure you have heard the two common cliches –
Opposites attract and birds of a feather flock together.
These are both powerful cliches, so which one is true, especially if you want a relationship that works?
The simple answer is it is a bit of both!
We work best with people who are not entirely similar to us and not completely different. Difference brings growth, as well as genetics telling us we need to choose someone with a different immune system to us to ensure the survival of the human race. In fact, research with the sweaty t-shirts ‘sniff’ test found that you will chose someone who is the most different to you!
No matter whether its opposites attract or birds of a feather, shared philosophy/values, strong communication and compromise are important to make a relationship work.
5 Reasons Opposites Attract
1. It’s different and new
The person who is the opposite to you, will show you a whole new world. This is fun and it gets you outside of your comfort zone. They allow you the freedom to function outside of how you usually do. As well as discovering things you wouldn’t have experienced before.
2. Your opposite has the qualities you admire
It is common to choose someone with the qualities you wish you had, you feel you need or that you admire. One theory is you search for the missing part of yourself.
It could be:
- You are shy and they are outgoing.
- A quiet person is attracted to a fun loving extrovert.
- Someone who is messy with someone who is tidy.
- A rule follower with an easy going person.
Somehow, they have the courage to live the life you don’t dare to. Or they have the discipline and focus to achieve the goals you’d like to achieve and conquer. Therefore, you find them irresistible. Also, you are drawn to others who show the parts of you that you repress, leave unexpressed or haven’t healed. The problem is as much as they are very compelling and attractive they end up becoming your biggest frustration. I work with singles to heal the part and be able to express their needs in a healthy way so that they can be attracted to a different person entirely.
3. Opposites Create Balance
Being with someone who has the opposite qualities to you creates balance. It’s all about someone who can balance you out and that person can easily be your total opposite. If you are an anxious person you will want to be with someone who calms you down rather than adds to anxiety. If one person doesn’t talk a lot, they often enjoy being with someone who is the life and sole of the party.
4. Opposites Keeps things Exciting
Your opposite will respond to situations with a different viewpoint, which gives a different outcome. This brings exciting possibilities, makes life interesting and gets rid of the predictable and boring. For this to work they should be different enough to challenge and excite you but similar enough to keep the two of you bonded and connected. This is a delicate balance.
It may be easy to be in a relationship with someone similar to you but easier may not be as exciting, fulfilling or rewarding.
5. Polarity – Opposite masculine and feminine ‘energy’
Basically, we all have a mix of masculine and feminine energy within us and what
happens is that polar opposites attract. So, if you are a very masculine woman you will attract a more feminine man and visa versa.
To describe how this works, think of a magnet. If you try to push together 2 north poles or 2 south poles it doesn’t work, they actually repel each other. This principle works with masculine and feminine energy. If a woman is operating in her masculine energy she will repel a masculine man whereas a feminine woman will attract a masculine man.
This is called Polarity. Polarity is essential to ensure passion lasts.
Polarity is the opposing energies in a relationship. For relationships to work you have to have things in common but for passion to last you need opposing energies, polarity.
Where there is sexual attraction and deep intimate connection, you will find polarity. There is intense physical chemistry when the person has the opposite energy to yours. Whether masculine or feminine, this energy is not gender-based. Every man and woman has varying degrees of both masculine and feminine energy, but one is a natural dominant force inside you. Men generally have masculine energy at their core and women have feminine energy at their core.