Ladies it’s time to Re-learn the Art of Flirting

By 24 January, 2020 Advice for Women, Blog

Ladies, it’s time to Re-learn the Art of Flirting

In a politically correct age flirting has become a dying art. The good news is flirting is a skill! So, ladies, it’s time to re-learn the art of flirting. Let’s start by looking at what flirting actually is.

Dictionary definition of flirt

behave as though sexually attracted to someone, but playfully rather than with serious intentions.


I love the definition! It is all about being playful without serious intentions! Nowadays people get so caught up in the idea of not wasting anyone’s time that they become business-like when it comes to meeting the opposite sex. Flirting is being playful instead. Too often people treat dating and meeting the opposite so seriously that it loses its sense of fun.

Maybe you have never flirted, or you have lost practice in how to flirt!

I am going to let you in on a secret………

Flirting attracts the Man you Want

You may not like the idea of flirting but it works with men! Men’s number one fear is being rejected by the woman they approach and flirting gives them the cues to be able to come over and talk. It makes it easy for them to strike up a conversation with you and will allow you to meet more men.

If flirting doesn’t come easily to you I want to give you some tips to change that for you, It doesn’t have to be as hard as you have imagined! Let’s start by looking at what signals you are actually sending out.

What Signals Do You Send Out?

Have you ever seen a man smile at you and then you have quickly turned away from him.

Let’s look at the signals you might be sending out when you do this:

  1. First of all this action is not flirty and you just made yourself unavailable.
  2. You also missed a very simple signal from him.
  3. Other men notice this and stay away.

However, if you had smiled back at him it is a simple form of being friendly and open. All you are doing is just letting him know you saw him looking at you. It’s really nothing more than courtesy.

Men often don’t know the difference between flirting and women being friendly. That is why it can be quite simple to master the skill of flirting as it is so similar.

It’s All About YOUR Body Language

Flirting starts with your body language. Men will form an opinion on you based on how you stand, if you have open or closed body language, if you make eye contact and if you smile.

You are sending subliminal signals through all of these actions, without even realising it.

To give you an example look at this photo, this woman is flirty and here’s why:


  1. She has open body language (closed would be crossed arms).
  2. She is smiling and open. A smile is the most attractive accessory that you could wear.
  3. She is touching her hair, men see this is a sign of flirting.
  4. She is exposing her neck – when you show your neck or touch your neck it tells a man you are open to talking to them.
  5. Most of all she looks friendly, approachable and fun.



Imagine you are a man; would you want to go talk to her? Would you find it easier to go and talk to her? I know I would! You get the idea?

I want to show you this second photo to illustrate the opposite:

  1. This girl has slumped shoulders which make her appear that she isn’t confident at all.
  2. She is not smiling, in fact, looks like she would like to be anywhere other than she is.
  3. It also looks like she hasn’t made a great deal of effort in how she has dressed or worn her hair. Now, this look may be fine for work but not for a date.

If you were a man would you want to go and approach her?

Probably not!

You would want to talk to the warm, friendly, open girl from the first photograph.


Maybe that photograph is an extreme example, so I will give you another example of an approachable woman and another who is hard to approach.  When you are being unapproachable you might do it to keep the wrong type of men away. However, the right guy will also see how unfriendly you are and will also find it offputting.

A smile is the most attractive thing that you can wear!

Did you know that women rarely smile at men and men tell me when they do it is refreshing and wonderful?

Flirting can be Fun

Flirting is about relaxing, being friendly, smiling and being playful. All skills you use in every other area of your life. Life can end up being serious and dating shouldn’t be.  It can be all too easy to come into the dating space thinking you don’t have time to waste and as a result, being too business-like. You may feel like you are saving time but you are actually achieving the opposite results.

Flirting can actually be fun and comes with much more of a relaxed vibe and energy that makes you irresistible to others.

For men flirting is a no-pressure type of interaction that is enjoyable and doesn’t have to be anything more than making you both smile!

Allow yourself to Flirt

The number one reason that women don’t flirt is because they worry they will be leading the guy on and give them the wrong impression. But you need to realise that you are not promising anything when you flirt. Just because you flirt with the guy, definitely does not mean you owe him anything.  Remember the very definition of flirting is – behave as though sexually attracted to someone, but playfully rather than with serious intentions.

Happy flirting…..

Debbie xxoxxx


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