Are you always asking where all the great guys are? Meanwhile overlooking some awesome guys! Have you got a long list of what you are looking for in a guy? Or do you tend to pick the same type of guy and find that no matter what he looks like he has the same personality traits? You may think you are changing the guy as he looks different, but your type will come in all shapes and sizes while their personality traits remain the same.
When we date men with the same internal traits (needy, selfish, arrogant, etc) it is no wonder our relationships don’t work out time and time again.
How do we break this pattern without compromising on what we want? Well the first step would be to be flexible about your future partner – he might just be 5ft 8 instead of 6ft. He might not love travel. He may be older or younger than you imagined. What you should be looking for is a wonderful person who you can fall madly in love with.
So to start to break the habit when someone asks you what you are looking for talk the talk – say you are looking for someone wonderful! This will help you think outside of the box without listing your criteria.
Try this simple exercise. The next time you go out scan the room for only men wearing something red. The ‘red group’ is your type! See how small the group of people are wearing red! No wonder it is hard to find ‘the one’ when we narrow our criteria for a potential partner this way!
Now try scanning the room for men wearing something white and you have instantly increased your chances of meeting someone. Changing one element of what you are looking for can open up a whole world of opportunity. There is a lot more fish in the sea when you cast a wider net!!!!!
Now try the exercise with more meaningful criteria than colour. Look for your opposite physical type – maybe try blondes rather than brunettes. By doing this you are opening your mind up for more possibilities and also deprogramming yourself. You never know what is under the external disguise.
I love the story of the women who went out with any guy who asked her for one year. She went on dates with all different types of guys and at the end, was in the relationship she wanted.
It will also give some amazing guys a chance too. We can be dazzled by the players, bad boys and confident selfish guys when we haven’t even spoken to or given a chance to the guy who appears initially shy, The one thing I have found from running a dating business is guys can be scared of approaching women for so many reasons and we miss out on getting to know them. The players on the other hand don’t suffer from this and are ultimately not good for us.
Remember girls if you do what you have always done you will get what you have always gotten!!!!!!