Is this you? Have you met someone new and then gone and checked their Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin account or checked their Spotify Playlist? Do you feel the need to google before dating?!
Pre-date googling is a new trend; a recent Match.com survey found 48% of women research a guy on Facebook before going on a first date.
49% of women said they would cancel a date because of something they didn’t like online! The problem with making the decision not to go out with someone could be based on something that would be quite unimportant if you met face to face. You run the risk of misjudging someone and not even giving the person a chance to explain. Besides, what would you find if you google yourself? Do all your photos make you look like a binge drinking alcoholic???
When you go online you can see things you don’t like. Like drunken photos in Asia, see them with people hotter than you, read their inappropriate comments or supporting political views you hate! Or you could see the Spotify Playlist and decide you could never date someone who listened to ‘that’! Googling can do one of two things – make you judgemental or insecure.
Now the internet has made people dating pickier. Internet dating makes it look like you have millions of options but has the potential to turn you into a picky shopper! You may think this one’s nose is too big, this one too short, too boring, to radical – so you instantly rule them out. All through multiple tabs on your computer screen! Now how can you tell if you have a connection with someone online? There is so much research to support the fact that 93% of how we communicate and connect is based on face to face meetings. When you meet in person you get to see the body language, how they react to eye contact, how they interact and you get the chance to listen to your gut feelings.
Now attraction is definitely based on chemistry and hormones – which is impossible to achieve through the internet or google! Chemistry has been instrumental in keeping the human race going as it helps us overlook some of the pointless criteria that could prevent us being together. Love really does make us stupid for a good reason!
I always advise people that you should let others get to know them before you tell them your bad points. Google can show the bad points (that may not even be real) before you have gotten to know and like the person. Google can make you go from liking someone to cringing in seconds! It can destroy the excitement of getting to know someone.
The other problem with google stalking and internet dating is it can make you feel like you know someone that you really don’t. It can give you a false sense of security.
If you are short of time try speed dating or a singles event. You get five minutes face to face to see if you click rather than 20 hours of google stalking that can make you write someone off or make you insecure.
By Debbie Rivers
