What is Romance

It’s coming up to Valentines Day and that brings romance to mind! Which leads me to the question what exactly is romance? Is it the red flowers and the chocolates?

I have learnt that we all have quite different views on ‘romance’ and ‘being romantic’! I have heard so many stories where a guy has planned something he thinks is romantic only to have a bad reaction from the person he wanted to impress.

Why does this happen? Well because everyone has different ideas of what they think is romantic. To some people the automatic thing to do is to send flowers – you really can’t go wrong with flowers, right? Wrong! One girl may love to receive flowers while another hates the idea. One girl may love roses, another hates them and would like a guy to put thought into what she likes. Different ideas of what romance is can lead to unmet expectations, frustration and feeling of failure.

It is a good idea to know the person’s idea of romance – to know what they like and do just that. Don’t fall into the trap of doing what you think is romantic. Romance is quite personal so it is a good idea to know the person and do personal things. The best romantic gesture really does depend on the person and the small things do make all the difference. Of course when you first start to date someone you will not always be able to do this and the thought does count. But keep in mind that most women won’t appreciate practical gifts like a vacuum cleaner, toaster or a kettle!

Romance should never be done out of obligation or because it is expected, although don’t use this as an excuse to never be romantic. Romance keeps a relationship fresh and exciting so it is worth taking the time to get it right. If you find little, inexpensive ways to be romantic, it will pay off in your relationship.

Oh and for any girls out there it is good to appreciate the efforts a guy has made to be romantic and to please you. If you continually criticise the efforts a guy has made, it will put them off doing nice things. I worked with a guy who had gone to a lot of effort to do buy his girlfriend roses and he wanted to get something different to the norm so he bought her yellow roses as he thought they were cheerful. She was very upset with the yellow roses as she believed that yellow stands for friendship and not for love. Now girls if a guy has taken the time to send you roses he is not thinking of friendship – I don’t know of any of my friends who have ever received flowers in an effort to win over friendship. I think as women we can be too guilty of over analysing things rather than appreciate a lovely gesture.

We all know the standard romantic gestures but here is a list of 20 affordable ways to be romantic that you can use all year around.

It is easy to take people for granted so make sure you say something nice and compliment them.
Cook a romantic dinner.
Pack a sunset picnic.
Burn a CD or load a iPod with the person’s favourite songs.
Leave little love notes everywhere.
Send a love email every day.
Take a moonlit walk along the beach.
Get a good bottle of wine and watch the sunset at the beach or look for shooting stars.
Watch a romantic movie together.
Take a walk down memory lane – visit some of the places from your early days of dating.
Kiss in the rain.
Get some get take away and eat it by candlelight.
Slow dance to the music.
Kiss slowly, touching his/her back, neck – slowly.
Make a list of everything you love about them.
Write a love letter.
Go to a movie, ignore the movie and kiss like teenagers.
Give some jewellery or token for the person to wear and say it’s to remind them that you are thinking of them.
Give each other a massage.
Take an interest in your their interests. For a woman it might be watching a football game with your man. And for men it might be going to see a chick-flick. Do it with a spirit of enthusiasm and love. Have fun.