Christmas time can make even the happiest single person feel sad and miserable. At this time of year it is hard not to look around you and see happy families and happy couples. It is all too easy to start feeling that life just hasn’t turned out how you wanted it to. You can find yourself dwelling on your mistakes and where your life has gone wrong. There are also unpleasant things to deal with like your children spending time between two families – it may be the first year you haven’t had Christmas with your children. It is all too easy to wallow and feel upset.
Did you know a Match.com Survey found that 48% of singles said their worst fear was being alone at Christmas time?
So to help you through the Christmas period here are a few tips.
The 1st Christmas is often the Worst
The first year you have to spend without seeing your children on Christmas morning is the worst. Over time you develop ways to deal and cope with how you are feeling. Try to feel the sadness but not to wallow in it too much – distract yourself and make sure you have other plans so you are not sitting around feeling miserable.
Don’t Judge yourself because you are Single
Don’t feel like you are a failure or not good enough because you are single. It is great to be part of a couple but it comes with its challenges and people are not always as happy as they appear. Try to look at the positives – you don’t have to stress over the perfect gift for your partner nor do you have to spend time with their relatives who you may never had liked in the first place!
You won’t be single forever
Keep in mind that you won’t be single forever and your current situation is only temporary. Appreciate and make the most of your single time. This may be the only time you are, so look at the positives and make the most of the time. You don’t have to compromise and you can do the things you truly love. Your soul mate could turn up at any minute – so always keep the attitude that someone wonderful is on their way and enjoy your time being single.
Don’t wallow
It is ok to feel the emotions of being single at Christmas and to acknowledge how you feel. But don’t wallow in those feeling as it will only make you feel worse. Rather focus on the good in your life.
Give
There is nothing that can make you feel better than giving. You may be single but there are other people in your life. There is so much pleasure to found in making the people who are in your life happy and looking and planning for thoughtful gifts for them. So instead of focusing on what you don’t have, be thankful for what you do have.
Don’t leave the Christmas Period to chance
Plan your time at Christmas so you don’t just sit around feeling sad. Plan to spend time with people who matter in your life. Organise events and spend time with people in a similar position to you. Just because you are single doesn’t mean you can’t have fun. Mingle with other singles – go to parties and singles events to meet new and interesting people. Look at being single as having more options!
Try something new
Use your time to try something you have never done before or use it to pamper yourself. You could even enjoy a movie marathon of your favourite shows/movies.
Remember there is a new year approaching with endless possibilities so I hope you all have the best Christmas possible.
Debbie Rivers
